Indelible
by Nowherefast
Summary: For every action, there is a reaction. With the end of the serial-murder case in Inaba, people demand to know who saved them from the reign of terror. The media is only too happy to oblige and nominate their only logical choice, Detective Dojima. Facing unwanted attention and adulation, Dojima longs for the past. It ends up finding him, but not in a way he would ever want.


**A/N:** Hi there, it's me, Nowherefast. Usual disclaimer… Persona 4 and all of its characters and anything affiliated are the property of Atlus, and of course I do not own any of it. This is purely a fan fiction with no intent at profit and created solely for the pleasure fellow fans of the series. So, I needed a break from Raison d'être because it really is turning into a challenge to write and I need time to sort things out with it. The ideas are there, the execution not so much. I needed to write something, even this haphazardly to help get out of the slump and I will get back at my main story as soon as I am able, I promise. Anyhow, this is a short one-shot and yeah I don't think this is very good, but oh well. My first attempt at writing anything directly related to the Persona 4 realm, because I never felt comfortable with it. One caveat to remember is that I haven't played it for a while and some details are fuzzy. Oh well, I suppose I have to start somewhere. Here's to hoping you find something within this story to enjoy. Cheers.

* * *

The rose-pink flickers of dawn entered through the station's window as a man paced back and forth inside a cramped office, unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. Case reports and newspaper clippings cluttered an ornate mahogany desk, of which Ryotaro Dojima had adamantly been against receiving. It was a gift from one of his old bosses who had long moved on from Inaba to join the big shots in Okina City. Funny how his old senpai suddenly felt in the giving kind of mood. Dojima figured it wasn't just a coincidence, considering for as long as he could remember, he was just another anonymous cop in the countryside. That all changed with the resolution of the Inaba murder cases, which somehow became credited to him through media coverage. When that happened, things quickly escalated and spiraled out of control. Random people in the street would come up to him asking if they could take a pictures together, applications to the police department skyrocketed, and he had to disconnect his home phone, buying Nanako a new cellphone as a consequence.

"Damned media types," he muttered, gnawing on the end of the cigarette in frustration.

Of course, Dojima adamantly deflected his role in the solving of the case, but that only served to rile up the press even further into declaring him a reluctant hero. To try to quell such nonsense, he granted one interview with the local television station which happened yesterday afternoon. Dojima attempted to erase the memories with a gulp of scalding coffee, but all that did was burn his tongue. Suffice to say, the interview did not go all that well as he recalled what happened.

_"It was a team effort to solve the case," Dojima insisted, in response to another attempt to pry confidential information out of him. "I can't really say much more than that because of department policy." That's when the trouble began and the interview veered into his personal life._

_"Hmm, if that's the case, I guess we should move on," the announcer said. "Maybe, we could talk about your personal life a bit. You've been a widow for quite a while now, haven't you?"_

_"That isn't something I'm really comfortable talking about in public," Dojima answered, wringing his hands involuntarily._

_The newscaster gave him a sympathetic smile and said, "But of course, Dojima-san. Especially, with the tragic circumstances surrounding the death of your deceased wife. It was through an investigation by our sources that revealed how Chisato Dojima met her untimely end in a despicable hit-and-run accident that remains unsolved to this day. I'm sure our viewers would agree from the picture we obtained that she died too soon."_

_It took all of his self-control to not immediately reach over and grasp the bastard by his collar. _

_Yet, the anchor continued to pry into the wound. "I know it's a hard topic to discuss, but what would you do to the person who killed your wife if you ever got a chance to meet them?"_

_"What kind of question is that?!" Dojima spat, anger visibly etched on his face. Of course, it was something he had considered in his darkest moments alone, but that was personal. "What would you do to the person who took away the love of your life and left your daughter without a mother? That's enough, I'm done with this interview." He walked out of the studio without a second glance back. _

Knowing his face would be splattered on the morning headlines, Dojima didn't bother to look at today's headlines in the paper. Shaking his irritation at last night's events away, he wished the real heroes of the investigation could receive recognition. After all, it had been Yu and his friends who deserved the majority of the credit for saving the town. Those kids, he could never quite figure out what they were up to, except they always seemed one step ahead of him. Regardless, Dojima could tell that they really were good kids at heart, albeit a bit troublesome. Without their help, Adachi would've never been arrested, let alone a suspect. All Dojima had managed to do with his bungled investigation was to get himself hurt and nearly lose his only daughter, while constantly rubbing elbows with the suspect in plain sight. Yet, here he was, wondering how to wade around a newfound fame that he didn't deserve. Maybe, it was better this way because teenagers didn't deserve this level of scrutiny. That was when the office phone rang and he instinctively went to pick it up.

"Inaba Police Department, Dojima speaking."

"Ryotaro, it's me Ichihara," the voice said. "I need you to come to Okina City right away."

"Senpai, what do you need me for?"

That was when the dial tone came on and Dojima realized his former boss had cut off right after saying what he wanted to say. He hadn't changed a bit it seemed. First the desk a week ago and now the old man wanted to meet him in person. Was old age causing him to grow soft? After deliberating for a bit, Dojima wrote a short memo on his secretary's desk saying that he wouldn't be in the office for a while and that he could be reached on his cellphone as needed. Satisfied, he picked up his jacket from the coat rack and headed for the train station to make the trip to Okina City, wondering why Ichihara couldn't just tell him what he wanted over the phone. Having paid for his train ticket, the detective took a seat in the back of the train, eyes darting back and forth looking for suspicious activity. Old habits die hard it seemed.

Once Dojima arrived in Okina City, he made his way to the police station on a beeline and was about to flash his badge when a middle-aged police officer interrupted him.

"You must be Dojima-san! What an honor to meet you! I saw you on television last night."

"Err… right," Dojima replied, not comfortable with the reception. "I'm here to see the chief."

"Yes, of course. He's expecting you."

"Thanks," Dojima said. _Have to deal with this crap even here, _he thought.

Once he entered the building it didn't take Dojima long to figure out where he needed to go as he could see his former boss in the largest office.

"About time you came, Ryotaro," his boss said without preamble. "I've been waiting for you to show up. Close the door behind you."

Closing the door and taking a seat he said, "It isn't like you to ask me to come here, Ichihara-san."

"Yeah, well you seem to be doing fine on your own," he replied with a slight smile on his lips. "Can't look at the damn news without seeing your face everywhere these days."

"I didn't ask for it," Dojima muttered, more to himself than to his uncle.

"Giving interviews is asking for it," the wizened old man replied.

Dojima shrugged, knowing his old mentor was right.

"Now, there isn't an easy way for me to tell you this." The sudden change in his senpai's demeanor was sudden and arresting. "This morning, a call came in from a neighborhood that typically attracts foreigners. The caller stated that they found a woman's body hanging from a persimmon tree close to the housing complex. Neighbors identified the body when officers arrived on the scene and the area in the immediate vicinity cordoned off from the public. Afterwards, I led a small team inside the woman's apartment and found a suicide note in the kitchen."

He handed him a folded piece of notebook paper, but Dojima was wary of accepting it. "Senpai, this is against protocol. You were the one that taught me to not tamper with the evidence."

"There's a time and a place to go against protocol, Ryotaro," he replied. "I think you'll agree with me that this is one of those times. Once you read that letter, you'll be glad I was the first one in the investigation scene."

Dojima took the note without another word unfolding the paper between his hands and started to read barely legible writing.

_By the time you read this, I will have already taken my life. Seeing your interview last night convinced me that doing this may relieve your burden. I am too cowardly to ever tell you directly that I was the one who killed your wife all those years ago. It is a fact that consumed me every day and night since it happened. Just seeing the anguish on your face and hearing that you have a daughter made me realize the amount of suffering I have caused you. I cannot ask you for forgiveness, only hope that you can move on. _

Nanako's father sat there, eyes going in and out of focus, hands trembling slightly, and his mind drawing a blank. A woman? _A woman killed his wife? And now she was dead after seeing his face last night? _He always thought a man was the criminal he searched for, it was the archetype that he held to so firmly. What he had searched for all these years, definitive proof was right here in his hands. Yet, why was it so hard to believe? There was no sense of relief that he had finally found the person who killed his wife. Only a feeling as if someone punched him right in his gut.

"Ryotaro, stay with me," his mentor said in concern. "This is why I told you to see me in person. I didn't think it was appropriate to say it otherwise."

"I-I…" Dojima was at a loss of words. Just opening his both lamely and closing it again multiple times.

"I'll make sure to withhold the connection of the case to you in the official report. It's tragic enough as it is, we don't need the media to piss on the dead."

Dojima looked at Ichihara and gave a slight nod of his head, grateful that his senpai would allow that. "I-I, need to go. Thank you."

Ichihara placed hands on both of his shoulders and said, "You were always a stubborn one boy, but I know this has to be hard for you. Just tell me if you need anything."

With that, Dojima departed, but didn't go back to Inaba right away. Instead, his feet led him to a nearby park and he sat down on a bench. Eyes glazed and breathing uneven, he wasn't really aware of why he was here. Reaching for his cellphone, he flipped through various contacts wondering just what he was trying to do. There wasn't anyone that he could immediately think of who he could confide in of what just happened. Sure, there was sympathy from Ichihara, but his mentor had already done more than enough for him. As Dojima's eyes, stared aimlessly at the phone screen a name caught his attention. Without a second thought, he dialed the number.

"Uncle Dojima?" Yu's questioning voice filled his ears and Dojima started to feel that he made the right choice.

"Yeah, it's me," Dojima said awkwardly. "Uh, are you busy? Can we talk for a bit?"

"Of course," his nephew responded. "What's on your mind?"

"I-I found…" Dojima's voice faltered, and he was on the verge of choking. "I learned who killed my wife, but I just found out that she committed suicide this morning."

"Do you feel responsible somehow?" Yu asked evenly, after a long pause. Being direct was one of the traits that really endeared his nephew to him and after their time together for a year, Yu could read him like a book.

"How could I not?" Dojima's voice was breaking, emotion on the verge of overcoming his restraint. "The note said she would commit suicide because she saw my interview last night. I just feel really empty, even a bit sad for the woman, I can't really explain it. When I learned what happened to her I thought I would feel some sense of closure or maybe even rage at how cowardly she was. The person who was responsible for killing my wife is gone. But, it just feels like I pushed her to kill herself, even though it was by coincidence."

"Uncle, we can talk endlessly about what ifs," Yu said.

"I didn't even get a chance to ask her why she did it!" Dojima yelled, trying to hold back his tears. "In her suicide note, she said that she decided to hang herself because she saw how anguished I looked in my interview. If I hadn't done that interview, she may still be alive. It just isn't fair, she gets to pass on after taking my wife away from me."

"Don't you remember what you told me before I left Inaba? You said as a detective you would continue to investigate who ran over Chisato, not for the sake of revenge. You've found the criminal and the case is now closed. As a father you have the responsibility of being a father to Nanako, she's your family. You no longer have an excuse to spend your time pouring over the past. Stop running and raise your daughter, spend time with her before it's too late!"

The words stung, but Dojima knew the truth behind them. In his fit of emotion, he had already been on the verge of breaking the oath he made to not lose focus of the things that are important to him. No more running away from his responsibilities, Chisato would want the same.

"Thanks, I really needed the reminder," Dojima said.

"No problem, uncle," Yu replied. "We're family after all."

A couple of days afterwards, Dojima opened the scrapbook which had the copy of the newspaper article about Chisato dying all those years ago. On the adjacent page, he carefully inserted the article about the woman who committed suicide. For a while, he sat staring at the two newspaper clippings wondering how these two unrelated women ended up crossing paths. Regardless, the advice Yu had given him was right as Dojima had fulfilled his obligation as a detective and he needed to move on. Closing the scrapbook and placing it carefully away on the highest row of a bookshelf, Dojima headed upstairs to Nanako's room where she was doing her homework. Tonight, he would read to her every book in this house if she wanted.


End file.
